Misunderstanding Forgiveness

Forgive - Chapter Ten (SSLL Book Club)

This is post 10 of 11 of our current SSLL Book Club series on Tim Keller’s FORGIVE. I’m essentially experimenting with the basic idea that we can read a book “together” in this space (reading schedule here). Each week, we tackle one chapter - I’ll highlight a quote, write a little blurb, and leave some question prompts that you can choose to answer here, on Facebook, or not at all.

“Don’t let yourself be twisted. Take in what Jesus Christ has done, put your little story about what people have done to you into the big story of what he did for you, and you’ll have all the power you need to grant forgiveness.”

- Tim Keller

This chapter lists the common misunderstandings of forgiveness.

• Excusing

• Denying or whitewashing

• Only refraining from active revenge

• Suspending judgment

• Weaponizing condescending mercy

• Abandoning justice

• Immediate trust

The final two are instructive in our culture - especially as warnings from understandably well-intended mental health professionals insist that forgiveness might not only be unnecessary, but even harmful as a path to re-victimization.

There is a forgiveness that doesn’t allow for the previous levels of intimacy and vulnerability. There is a path of safe and protective behavior that still biblically addresses sin and seeks reconciliation.

Jesus forgave perfectly and fully. And was uniquely suited to the level of sacrificial atonement required to right our relationship with God. We are not Jesus and our reconciliation with others, particularly on this side of heaven, may not be perfect or total. That’s ok.

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Questions

• Have you ever felt guilt - like you were short-changing forgiveness - for cutting off a harmful relationship?

• Which of the misunderstandings of forgiveness have you experienced as an offender?

• Which of the misunderstandings of forgiveness do you most easily get stuck in as the offended?

You can answer here in the comments or in the Facebook post…

- KB